Sunday 28 July 2024

When to mentor

I've been thinking again about mentoring. When is the right point to consider the challenge of mentoring someone? When does one know enough? When should one offer oneself as a mentor, without it coming across as seriously arrogant?

The answer is, of course, never. A mentor is calm, wise, and has seen it all before. They can easily understand everything that could possibly come up, have a very clear plan in place immediately and be able to take a mentee forward through any situation. Does this sound like me / you? Really? Plus, let's face it, if I / you know it then it's pretty obvious and can't possibly be worth offering to someone else.

Or at least that's what The Voices say to me every time I think about this. This is, of course, nonsense.

So what is the real answer? When is the right time to help those with less experience? Now. It doesn't matter what experience you have - it is more than some people. Sure, over time that number will increase and more folk will benefit from hearing from you, but you already know something that is unique and worth telling others. Mid-level developer? Plenty of people coming through the junior levels who need to learn from you. "Only" a junior? Well, there are plenty of people who are just starting out and have no experience at all.

This is before we get to the value of mentoring to you. Similarly to writing a blog, there is a discipline in structuring ideas and then clearly talking through ideas and concepts in a way someone else can understand them and like any form of teaching, one needs an extra level of understanding to be able to talk about a concept in this way. It is essential for a leader to be able to articulate their thinking clearly in order to bring others along with them. It is also very important to be able to think clearly on the fly - such as when people can drop awkward topics of discussion on you at any time.

As an aside, I really don't like the term "mentor" - or rather I don't like thinking of someone as "my mentee" because of the implied power dynamic there. I would say I don't have any mentees, but there are plenty of people who would disagree with that.

Ok, so how does one offer mentoring without sounding deeply arrogant? The easiest route, I think, is by offering to a group who are already in a place to be receptive, and maybe linked to individual topics you know you can claim some expertise. I've recently seen someone I respect offering consultation around salary negotiations. This is a form of targeted mentoring, and in a field she is visibly knowledgeable. 

As I said above, I already do some mentoring however my new year resolutions included giving more back to this industry. So I'm going to do two things. 

Firstly, if anyone is reading this and wants a chat about the tech industry - in particular technical leadership, moving from a technical job to a leadership role, the role of technical knowledge in the strategic / leadership space or similar - then please do reach out on LinkedIn or Twitter. I am also open to speaking to groups (which is whole different post).

Secondly, I'm going to make this same offer in an engineering leadership Slack which is filled with people I don't know. That idea scares me ... we'll see what happens.

An important caveat here. I know there are qualified coaches, mentors and so on. I am not that. I am simply someone who has been around a bit.

Anyway, I'm going to do something here and I challenge you, dear reader, to do so too. The important thing is that there is always something one can offer to others who are looking to learn. And there is always something one can learn from someone else. We all can find value by listening to and learning from each other.